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There once was a girl who was so sad that all the tears in the ocean could not quench her sorrow. In fact, she was the saddest girl in the world. The sadness of this girl was so deep, so wide, and so salty, that it was deeper, and wider, and saltier than all the deep, wide, salty waters of earth combined. The name of this dolorous girl was Sorrowifera.

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1998-2002 Rhonda J. Boothe